4 Common Issues of Asking Your Nanny to Babysit too much!

One of the biggest advantages of having a nanny or live-in nanny is that it open up opportunities for busy parents to have a much needed night out.  

Many families will discuss or suggest babysitting with their nanny during the interview stage and will agree between them what is a suitable amount. 

They will normally discuss if this is included in their weekly wage, or if they will be paid as overtime.  

Some families will only need occasional babysitting and so this will never become an issue but for some families, to others there could be trouble ahead if they make too many requests. 

As a nanny agency in Hertordshire, we have outlined the 4 common issues of asking your nanny to babysit too much. 

1. When Availability Turns Into Expectation 

We regularly hear from both families and nannies who experience this exact problem. Families with live-in help often assume that because the nanny lives on site, she is “available” at all times for babysitting – often with little or no notice. 

Some dates are simply added to the family planner without discussion with the nanny beforehand. This can very quickly start to undermine her daytime role as she feels that she is never off duty and has to be available in the evening’s weekdays and weekend.  

2. Setting Clear Expectations from the Start 

Most families will have an idea as what they see is the right amount and at Hummingbird, we always suggest being crystal clear and upfront. Agree in advance what is contractually included and what should be paid as extra. After all, the nanny is still at work whether the children are in bed and asleep or not. 

Unfortunately, some families seem to think that babysitting is unlimited, and all included in the weekly wage with no extra payments necessary.  

From the nanny’s perspective, she has already worked a long day and then has to babysit on top. This it doesn’t take long for the nanny to start feeling resentful and that she is being taken for granted. 

3. Time Off in Lieu: Does It Really Work? 

Some families will offer time off in lieu instead of extra payment. In principle, this sounds good and with the best of intentions it should work well. However, in many cases where parents work very long hours, taking time off in lieu is just not realistic as there is never a time when she is not on duty as the parents are at work.  

This can cause problems too as the nanny will be assuming time off in lieu is being banked. It often mounts up very quickly so that any time off due isn’t just taken as a day when she leaves early or starts later as the hours are now accrued enough to take full days.   

With no possibility of getting this time back, the nanny will start to feel the situation is getting out of hand. They will then either request payment for all the hours of babysitting she has worked or, in some cases, it may be enough for her to start looking at other roles that are available as she has no work life balance any more – and believe us, as a Hertfordshire nanny agency, we see this more often than you might expect  

Families need to remember that their nanny will have a life and commitments outside work just as they have. 

4. The Long-Term Impact on Your Nanny Relationship 

This may sound unrealistic, but I’ve personally seen this scenario play out many times over the years. I’ve been asked to stay late or come back on Saturdays, often meaning I had to cancel or rearrange my own plans at short notice. That extra 6 hours on top of an already 60-hour week starts to weigh heavily. For any hardworking nanny, this can be demoralising. It can damage the working relationship they’ve built with the family, especially when they start to feel their personal time is being devalued. 

I always ask families to consider how they’d feel if their own workload was increased without notice or extra pay. Would they accept it? 

So, What is Reasonable Babysitting? 

At Hummingbird, we suggest that for live in nannies, one weekday night of babysitting (Monday to Thursday) can be included, but Friday and Saturday nights should be paid for as extra. These should be arranged in advance and not just dropped on the nanny as she is leaving for the weekend.For live out nannies, all babysitting should be arranged in advance, and all should be paid for at an agreed hourly rate. This would usually be at the same day rate but possibly higher be more after midnight.  

Some families question why they should pay for evenings when the children are asleep. Our answer? That’s the best-case scenario. But what if one child wakes up unwell? What if something goes wrong? Your nanny’s still responsible, still experienced, still on duty. She deserves to be paid accordingly. 

Why Outsourcing Babysitting Might Be Best 

We know some parents use students or young friends or family they know to babysit at a lower rate than a nanny would be paid. My advice is always to outsource babysitting to somebody who isn’t your nanny unless your nanny is happy to stay and work those additional hours.  

It is ok to ask but always make it clear that the nanny is not obliged to accept. Most nannies will happily step in now and then, especially if the relationship is strong and the requests are rare. But for families with frequent or last-minute evening plans, the best way to protect your nanny’s wellbeing (and ensure she stays happy in her role) is to keep those night-time hours separate. 

Need Support from a Trusted Nanny Agency in Hertfordshire? 

At Hummingbird Home Staff, we’re here to help you find the right balance with your childcare needs. As a leading nanny agency in Hertfordshire, we specialise in matching families with experienced, reliable, and professional nannies who understand your routine—and your expectations. 

With over 25 years’ experience supporting families just like yours, our expert team is here to guide you through every step of the process. Whether you need a full-time nanny, live-in help, or advice on setting healthy boundaries, we can help you find the right person for your home. 

Ready to find the perfect nanny for your family? 

Contact us today to learn more about how Hummingbird Home Staff can support your family’s unique needs.

 

Linnea Tormajer Hummingbird Home Staff